Saturday, January 10, 2009

A little kindness

A paper journal made for me by my daughters
Blogging has so many positive rewards, so many wonderful kind people who lift you up with their comments and some who even become good friends across the miles. I have been blessed that I haven't encountered any of the bad comments yet. Well, I have had a few of the hijackers who put links to their V**gra advertisements in my comments. What's up with that? (no pun intended) Yuk. But overall it's all been sunshine and roses here at the cottage. Not so for some of my other favorite bloggers. I have seen bloggers pack up and take their beautiful blogs offline because some nasty person had to shoot them down. The world is full of people who will tell you your idea is stupid or selfish or crazy. They will tell you that you will fail or you aren't good enough or "who do you think you are? someone special!?" Really, the sad little lives that some people live. And I'll tell you this, they are always anonymous. Always. They may have google I.D.'s and "names" but when you follow it back it leads to a blank page. And that pretty much sums it up. What are they looking for? Why do they do it? I'll tell you, they want your reaction. I can almost guarantee that they will come back to see if they got to you. Will you mention their comment? Will you try to refute it? If you do anything but hit the delete button on their comment they win . They got what they wanted. They brought you down. You have made their sad little day. But hey girls (and guys if there are any reading out there) your blog is YOURS. You don't ever have to let a snarky comment see the light of day. To hit the delete button and send it into oblivion and never mention it again is the only weapon you have against the flamers. Sure, the comment hurts, but think about it, you don't know this person, they hide beind a cloud of anonymity. They aren't your friend. And for every snarky comment you get, there are so many kind and loving people who appreciate your efforts and your blogs. Our blogs belong to us. They are completely under our control, they are our expression, our forum, our artistic outlet. Don't allow someone to hijack that and bring you down. Just. hit. delete.

42 comments:

Terri and Bob said...

I haven't had one comment yet... althought I have received one or two of the weird, advertising ones... I love your advice. Just hit delete! (kinda like the 90s song...Just Push Play!)

Rosie's Whimsy said...

You are so right .... and it was beautifully stated.
It is so sad that some people thrive on being corrosive. Glad you were moved to cheer us onward and upward :-)

Sue said...

Hi Kathy...I have been so very luck to never have a nasty comment left and before I got into really blogging with the ladies I posted some strange posts (during election season) I do have someone from Reston Virginia who comes on everyday, never says a word, and I feel like I'm being stalked...I hope they like what they read....people are weird and unhappy. I guess it's their way of venting....Sue.

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

That is pitiful that someone has to build themselves up by doing that. I have not encountered it, but great words you've written! Eleanor Roosevelt said "Nobody has the power to make you feel inferior without your permission" It's my favorite quote of all time!
Your journal is so sweet that your daughters made! And yes, our blogs are like a personal diary...who would think of coming in and writing something nasty on your personal diary? Sad, miserable people...thats who!

Raggedy Girl said...

I have had nothing but beyond nice but I will remember and have my delete button close at hand.
Roberta Anne

GARAGE SALE GAL said...

AMEN to that:)
Very pretty journal your daughter made for you.
Have a Great Monday.
Warmly,
Deb

TattingChic said...

so sorry to hear someone has been unkind. I have heard of this sort of thing before. I have been fortunate enough not to have an unkind comment on my blog...I always seem to get them in person...ouch! Well Your journal photo is lovely.

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/Lavender Hill Studio said...

Very well said Kathy.
Hugs,
Penny

Mimi Sue said...

We all need that reminder. Mimi

Anonymous said...

Hi Kathy! I am one of those "anonymous" people who likes to read blogs. I have a few of my favorites that encourage me and inspire me....that includes you. Thank-you for all of the time you and the other bloggers put into your posts. I do appreciate each and every recipe, picture, prayer, thought, etc. that is shared with myself and others. Debbi

P.S. I was taught that "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all". Good advice, huh?

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

Stated so well my friend!!! Have a great week...m.

Kathleen Grace said...

I certainly don't mean to say that all Anonymous commenters are cranks, and I hope everyone understands that. As I said, I have never had a cranky pants comment yet and I have lots of Anonymous friends who have left lovely sweet comments. I appreciate them all:>)

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you.

I think people that make nasty comments have miserable lives and are jealous of the attention certain bloggers receive.

~elaine~

Firefly Hill said...

Kathy,
I am pretty sure I know the blog you are referring to....she has been on the receiving end of some mean comments. What she proposed to do (make a little money from her blog...) is done all the time. Many people are using their blogs as an avenue to a business...I don't know why a few people have taken such offence to what she proposed! All I can say is that people are funny...if they get riled up, it is usually a sign of an insecurity within themselves. I agree with you...your blog is your blog!!
annie

ShabbyInTheCity said...

Sick old people.
Good morning Kathy ;)

bj said...

One reason I ended my post today with REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE is because I saw something on a bloggers sidebar that made me very sad, indeed. Something that she wouldn't have liked to see about herself on someone's public sidebar.
I've not had any bad comments either and plan to do just what you suggest...read, click, delete...GONE!
GREAT POST today, girlfriend...
xo bj

Donna said...

You're so right. I totally agree.

Hugs,
Donna

KarenHarveyCox said...

Kathy,
You are so right. I have deleted many on my flickr, and my blog. I have one person who adores swiping photos right off my blog. There are always those people out there that don't understand the sweetness that lives here. When my photos are stolen, I just put new ones back.

Delete the comment and say a prayer for them. Besides the encouraging comments far out weigh the sketchy ones.

Kathy, this is great advise. Have a beautiful day.

Karen

the pleasures of homemaking said...

Well Said Kathy! I've seen some pretty nasty comments on other blogs. I've only gotten a few snarky ones but I just ignore them and so far that's worked for me.

Manuela

Andrea @ Big Creek Cottage said...

I have never understood why folks leave negative comments.....I don't understand why someone would want to effect someone that way...unless they are so sad that they don't know any other way of communicating with others....So sad, really. Maybe we shouldn't hit delete but instead all see those comments and say a prayer for the commenter....clearly they are angry, sad people.

Katie said...

Hi Kathy!

I've been reading your blog for quite awhile now and I recently started my own after being inspired by blogs like yours!

I didn't know your most recent post on this subject; I am certainly sorry that you felt the need to mention it. So sad how some people can be.

Well, I really came by to tell you I just got my first award and to tell you know I in turn awarded it to you! Thanks for all the hard work you've put into your blog, I've enjoyed reading it and it brightens my day.

You're mentioned in my post and there's a link to you.

http://katiesnestingspot.blogspot.com/2009/01/celebrating-my-first-month-of-blogging.html

Maryjane - The Beehive Cottage said...

Your have a very sweet blog! Cheerful & bright!

Hugs,
Maryjane

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

I just came upon your blog, from another pretty one. And what a marvelous entry!

May I add one extra? Use Comment Moderation. Ohhhhh! You DO! Wonderful!!! That is the joyous key, imho. Then no one ever has to know that a nasty person even tried to invade your space. They get no, no, no fun out of their nastiness. Which you mean, when you say Delete, i know.

Plus, it's not necessary to make one's readers do that {icky} Word Verification either. ,-) When one has Comment Verification. Win, win situation. :-)

Aunt Amelia
"Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark upon a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour." ~~John Boswell

Tara said...

Kathy

You are right--it is your creative space to please yourself!

PS--am following your blog!

Laurie and Chris said...

Wonderful post!!!

Simply Dandy said...

Oh Kathy, where was this post a couple of weeks ago....LOL! You are right, they really aren't worth mentioning. It's just sad that they feel the need to leave such nasty comments. People like that need our prayers because they are hurting somewhere!!

Hugs,
LeAnn:)

cityfarmer said...

THER'S SOME NASTY ONES OUT THERE....BEIN' THE CHRISTIAN WOMAN THAT I AM, I CANNOT SAY WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE TO....SO GLAD YOU'VE MADE THIS KNOWN

English Cottage in Georgia said...

Loved your post :-).
I too get concerned when someone is hurt to the point of wanting to quit blogging.
IMHO, that would be rewarding the Eeyore commentators.
(This comment was not meant to offend Eeyore fans) :-)

Back Through Time said...

Wonderful post and how sad that some people take pleasure from trying to run other people down.
Thanks for a such a great post!
Michelle

Andrea said...

I like to live by the motto "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

I just figure those cranky, mean spirited sorts have some big battle on their hands. Not about me at all.

I wish them well - then delete.

Elizabethd said...

So true,though the worst I ahve had was an advertising comment...but it was made up to look as though it was from a 'real' person, with a photo too. Nasty little tricks.

bj said...

Thanks for coming by and listening to all my OLD music...;O)
Hope you have a good day....

Amy at Bunny Rose Cottage said...

VERY true Kathy! I delete any I dont like. I just dont understand the point of leaving a mean comment! WHY intentionally hurt someone? It is so stupid.

I LOVE the journal in your picture Kathy! And your new background is beautiful!

Love ya,
Amy

Dolly said...

I had my first experience with a mean blogger!
She was anonymous but I know who she is!
I deleted her mean comment and reminded myself that I need to pray for her... and all the bitter hatred she carries in her heart!

Your advice is good Kathy...
Warm Hugz,
Dolly

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

All I can say is that they have nothing better to do than to put the spoils on others. Like you said, just hit the delete button. And the Viagra ones? I get them, too. Delete, delete, delete. A great little button!

xoxo
Becky

Tricia Anne said...

Hi Kathy,
I too have received a couple of unkind comments, also with out a signature. It seems strange that they would not sign their names. But I balance those against the very sweet ladies who I may never meet in real life and the encourgement, laughter, a kindness shared. Including you Ms. Kathy! I have always remembered your words regarding my daughter going off to her sophomore year in public school, since being home schooled her whole life. I needed those words of care at just that time, and you were there to share them with me. Thank you so much! Since then, we have sent our son to public school and your words resonate in my heart again!
I am looking forward to seeing what you will be creating for your Etsy store. :o)
I hope that you have a nice day.
Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne

Angela said...

That is some good advice! I am new to the blogging world. I haven't encountered anything like that yet. I did receive a nasty email from a distant relative who didn't like my blog being copy righted. Everyone does that. To me it is just a standard thing. Of course if someone wants something that you put up they can get it and use it and you would never know they did it. He was mad because I put up an old old picture of my gg grand father. He said that I got that picture from him. I didn't. I found it at my grand mother's house! He said that he had the copy right to my gg grand father. I didn't address him directly but I did change my little crazy don't copy any of my stuff thing on the side. I also put up a post of where I got that picture. That was two days before Christmas and as you can tell I am still a little heated over it! You expect something like that from strangers but not family even though I have never met him as we are distant relatives we do have relatives in common.
Take care, Stay warm,
Angela

Kathleen Ellis said...

Well said! Unfortunate that it has to be said...but, that's life!

Tracey McBride said...

You put it beautifully. Very good advise regarding reacting only with the delete button (I often add a prayer for the poor souls as well). Thank you for addressing this subject.
Warmly,
Tracey
P.S. I love your blog!!

restyled home said...

Loved this post. You always put things so beautifully and to the point.

When it happens to me (though I hope it doesn't), I will be sure to hit delete.

Great advice!
Linda

KJ said...

I love the combination of prints in your apron! Nicely done!

Flamers fall into the same ugliness that still follows Sarah Palin—even though the election is over. Someone actually burned down her church because they hate her, Bush, and conservatives. Now, that is probably the ultimate of of anonymity!

Blogs are personal. We have basically opened up our hearts and turned it into an online journal. People don't have a right to edit our journals. They need to go back and write their filth in their own journals. Sadly, as you pointed out, their journals are blank. Why? I think it's because they are not at peace with themselves and live to disrupt the peace in everyone else.

I am thankful for the delete button.

Enjoyed my stay!
KJ

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

I had to go to moderated comments because of a few very rude and insulting comments.

They were obviously from people who don't read my blog.