Monday, September 20, 2010

The Blog Monster

I think taking inventory is a good thing.  Every aspect of our lives needs to be evaluated occasionally, given the proper perspective, the proper priority, just so we can understand where we came from and where we are going.   If we never think about how things fit on our lives, well, pretty soon they don't fit at all.
Take blogging.  For many of us, we blog because it is our own little piece of the world where we can express ourselves really freely.  It isn't that I can't do that with my family, I can.  What I mean is, I don't take a lot of input from anyone but myself in this little corner of Kathyland. It began as a way to keep family and friends updated when my mother  in law was going through cancer. She beat it (yay!) and somewhere along the way, people found this little corner of my world. To say I was amazed would be an understatement. To say I could have forseen where it would lead me creatively, well, I never had a clue. Blogging rocks my world, no two ways about it.
I could never stop blogging, at least I'm not there yet, but life has a way of getting in the way of the fun stuff. I think most of you know that my husband and I are both back on school and holding down part time jobs. You do what you have to. As crazy as my schedule is, his is worse. He is taking four classes and working about 20 hours a week and looking for work. On top of that he has done everything he can to do things around the house so I can blog. He has always supported me fully and he knows a lot of you by your first name, and he reads over my shoulder. I can see the schedule taking it's toll on him though. I need to take back the house and give him a little more free time and a little less to do.  Am I quitting my blog? NO! I will still try to keep posting at least once a week and hopefully more. Here is the hard part though, I am going to cut back on commenting. I know. I know how people feel about that, I have heard the complaints of some who feel that every visit deserves a return visit and comment and that some people are too big for their britches. If you feel you can't comment here because if it, I understand. But I will leave you with the admonition that we all need to quit putting so much pressure on ourselves about this. Some people have left blogging because of it. I adore hearing from you, but I know from first hand experience that we don't know what others are going through or what other things must take precedence over their time. So here is the question. Why do you blog and how do you set your priorities so it doesnt take over your life?

30 comments:

  1. Kathy,
    I applaud you for keeping your priorities in order. There are days that I simply don't have the time or energy for leaving comments and yet I read as many posts as I can. I am very aware that many people read at Hospitality Lane and don't comment but I remind myself that it is not just for the feedback that I write. It is just so wonderful to have a space to be creative and hopefully bless others occasionally with something I am learning.

    You are very wise to do whatever you need to do in order to support your husband!

    Becky K.

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  2. Good Morning Kathy!

    First I want to say that I totally understand the need to cut back on commenting and blogging. I have written about this a few times myself. I enjoy following quite a few blogs, however if I commented on everyone of them I would not have time for anything else. On my blog I don't stress out over lack of comments. I can tell from my Sitemeter numbers that people are visiting and that's fine with me. They do not need to tell me so. Any comments are just icing on the cake.
    My reason for blogging has shifted in the last year. In the beginning it was to help promote my Etsy shop, The Empty Nest. However now it has morphed into a way to nurture a few fabulous friendships I have made with incredible women around the world (you being one). I have gotten to know these ladies so well that if we met tomorrow we could continue a conversation like we were childhood friends. It amazes me! Someday I would love to go on a 'Blog Vacation' and visit all my blog friends... wouldn't that be fun? So take the time you need and don't worry about us. We will continue to pop in to say hello.

    Be well,
    Janet xox

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  3. I share your thoughts about priorities and blogging. At first I posted every day and left comments for everyone and responded to each comment left for me. Then life took some hard turns and I had to evaluate the time I spend online, resulting in my current posting a couple of times a week and much less commenting. You're on the right trace, my friend, and I will visit often. And expect nothing in return. After all, isn't that what friends do? Hugs and blessings to both of you.
    ~Adrienne~

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  4. Gosh Kathy. I was just thinking this very thing. I blog for all the same reasons you do. :o) And where it has taken me in my own personal growth is amazing. It gives me an outlet to create and mess up and grow. :o) I am super thankful for those who take the time to comment and I really want to get to each one of them. But as you so perfectly communicated ... you just don't know what is going on in the lives of those who are on the other side of the screen. I have to remember not to be too hard on myself when I can't respond. And pray that the sweet ladies who have taken the time to comment, will have grace with me too. I really admire you Kathy (for dozens of reasons) and to see you take your priorities to heart only makes me admire you more.
    Oh ya ... I try to do my main blogging when my family is not home. And I also try to set posts to schedule, so my blog doesn't go undone. :o)
    Thank you for posting on this issue!!
    Have a great day friend. :o)
    Sincerely ~ Tricia
    Ps. My husband knows some of you by name too! Isn't that funny? :o)

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  5. Kathy, is it the fall or what? I have read about 3 different posts just this last week on this very same subject. In fact I've had a little 'talk with myself' yes I do that, lol! I admire all you do and agree that we can't do it all and have a life. I think so many of us are at that point and don't want to leave blogging and also want to take care of our homes and families. I blog for me as and out let and then I have met so many wonderful people it has given me a friendship circle I treasure. I have never blogged every day and never left a comment on every blog! I do what feels right and no guilt! We should all understand and appreciate each other. I will enjoy your blog when you post and hope you will do the same and just don't quit!!!

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  6. Enjoyed your post as usual. I am new to blogland and I really enjoy it. However I blog for my own enjoyment and to share my meditations. My posting is part of my devotion to Jesus. Never have I expected comments ~ that is certainly a poor reason to blog isn't it? I also have two very special friends that depend on my posts for encouragement and that is enough for me to keep doing it. Blogging should enrich our lives and when it becomes a burden it is no longer doing that. Your husband is more important than commenting that is for sure, Kathy. Do not feel guilty for making this decision. By the way if anyone of you want to click on my name and visit my blog of inspiration, please do so and you are not obligated to leave a comment ~ just be blessed.

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  7. Kathy, I think you are being very wise. I agree with everything you said, especially in regard to comments. I'm still trying to find that sweet spot of how much to blog with my schedule. It seems to swing from feast to famine. Make your house sparkle and give Earl a big hug for being such a great husband. (Hi Earl) I'll look forward to your next post whenever it appears.
    XO,
    Lallee

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  8. Good for you for keeping your life in order! It's hard when you have so many things going on, and truthfully, blogging ISN'T the most important (even if it is fun!).

    I started blogging after I discovered all the amazing crafty blogs out there, and I renewed my passion for photography. For me the best part about blogging is traveling around the blogishere and seeing what's going on - something I'd never have known otherwise. I love it because I'm a tad isolated where I am, and blogging gets me out there!

    I'll miss your posts, but will still stop by to see what you're up to. And my prayers are with your husband for finding a perfect new job.

    xo Jill

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  9. Kathy~~~

    I hear you loud and clear. You can't make your whole life blogging. I fit it in around other things. I do it when I'm having my morning coffee or just taking a break. I don't know how others that have full time jobs do it.

    I have been reading about this subject a lot in Blogland recently and 2 bloggers I know well have quit. I find that sad because we develop so many sweet relationships. I could never just cut the ties.

    I think people will understand if you pull back a little. Life happens! I'll always be around!

    xoxo
    Jane

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  10. Good post Kathy. It is really hard to keep up with daily life and blog life. I am fortunate that at this time in my life I do have more time. Some day I may not.

    I will be here...I am a follower and when you post I will know it. And I totally understand if your comments are fewer and farther between....

    xo
    Penny

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  11. Dear friend, you must do what is first and foremost and important in your life. I started blogging after having been cottage of the month at the old painted cottage. back then i had more time to be at the computer and well, then life came to a halt..as you know. you know how we have all made such wonderful friendships via our blogs. there are times that i feel so guilty that i cannot devote more time to leave comments and pray that i don't bruise any hearts by not doing so. i personally get overwhelmed and anxious about this part of blogging. HOWEVER, we have the daily schtuff that MUST be taken care of and it can pile up if we spend all day on the computer. my old back cannot handle sitting that long. :0

    we love you and just do what you can do on kathy time. i totally understand!!! no hurt feelings here.

    much love,
    becky

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  12. I'll post this on a blog post very soon. Up here in Washington visiting our great granddaughter.

    BUT I have to say I feel exactly as you do. I'll try to get the post up tomorrow. That will explain a LOT of things, sugar!

    xoxo,
    Connie

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  13. Thank you Kathy! This subject is a big one for all of us! I blog because it's a fun, creative outlet. I feel so guilty when I post and don't go visit but sometimes I just can't spend the time to do it all. When my blog began to take off about a year ago I found myself up at 2 or 3 am still visiting or posting then getttin up at 4:30 with hubby. I was a blogging zombie!It was addictive! But I've realized I can't possible spend hours on the computer everyday so I'm doing what I can. I love hearing from my friends, but I know missing a few posts or visiting every few weeks won't bother those who have become real friends. Hang in there friend!

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  14. I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago and have enjoyed it but certainly understand your need to prioritize your time. I just started blogging myself recently and find there are days that I have no "inspiration" so I wait until the days I do. It's supposed to be fun and creative ... right? That's how I hope to keep it and how I hope it goes again for you.

    Blessings, Ann

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  15. I've got to put more limitations on it. A few weeks ago I said I'd start reading blogs with my morning coffee and then stop at 1 p.m. That somehow didn't happen. Amen to all you said!
    Brenda

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  16. My Dear Blog Friend ...No one can argue with this post. Sometimes it's good to get things in order, take an inventory of your life and see what needs to be adjusted. We all need to do it and we should all do it regularly. I agree with everything you have written and definitely understand.

    Lately, I've been all caught up in the fact that not too many visitors come to my little corner of the world. Should I stop blogging? Why do I blog? I finally found that I will continue to blog, but I will blog on my own time, on my own schedule. I won't be concerned about how many visitor's there have been or how many comments. I will blog for myself and I will blog when time allows; when I want to or have something fun to share. There will be no more time schedules!

    I know that things have been a little rough on you and DH lately. Your priorities have changed, your life has changed. Take care of yourself and your family first. Remember, that you have a lot of support from your friends in blog land!

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  17. Hi Kathy,
    I love to blog because it is another medium to create with. Lately, my family has taken more time than before do to some personal reasons. So, I have not been commenting as much as usual. I give myself permission to sometimes create and not visit, other times visit lots and post less.

    I think that people who do not understand this must not have anything else in their life. I know when I see many comments on some people's blogs, I think where do they find the time to visit so many people consistently.

    In life I enjoy quality of things versus quantity. When my family needs my attention, I just put blogging aside. They will be there when I have the time to visit again.

    Balance is easier I think when you are kind to yourself and trying to please others less. Old age...it is good for something!

    Kathy, you are one of my favorite favorite people in Blogland. The other day I went to a craft fair with my friend. She was worried because she lost track of another friend, and then she thought she lost me. She wanted to make sure that she gave us both equal time. I told her..we're grown ups, and you don't have to worry.

    Hoping you and Earl are enjoying school and have a great week.

    Karen

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  18. I understand how you feel but it sounds like you do need a little break. I will still be back taking a look when you post!

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  19. Kathy, I do know where you are coming from. I don't know how in the world you blog, take care of home, work, sew, cook, laundry, school...it is just beyond me where you find so dang much time.

    Now, me, on the other hand...I am olden, retired, only two of us to cook for, do laundry for, we share in the house cleaning...I spend time with my grands but it's not like them living here. In other words, I HAVE THE TIME TO BLOG.
    That makes a huge difference.
    My advice to you, sweet girl, is to blog when it suits YOU..blog about WHAT suits you...if you can't visit many and leave comments, so be it. For those out there that can't understand what you are saying here, well...they can do things the way THEY want to and if they don't come visiting anymore...so be it.

    I never, in a million years, thought blogging could turn into a full time obsession but IT CAN...if you let it.And, if it does, and you don't really have the time, then somethings gotta give.

    I say, DO IT YOUR WAY.....
    and, I'll love you forever even if you don't comment because I know you love me, too. And, that is ALL THAT MATTERS. A few words here and there is not going to make a huge difference..just like NO words won't matter, either. Well, I wouldn't mind a quick email every now and then :)).

    People are putting WAAAY too much concern over the amt of comments they get...or how many are following. I don't know how to remedy that but, I suppose we all have to do it the way we are comfortable with.
    Whew...now I need another cup of coffee....

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  20. OOO and I forgot to say...
    Give Earl an extra hug and kiss and....ummm...whatever ;>)
    for being such a grand guy!! He has been such a rock through all these hard times for ya'll...and I love him because he loves YOU.

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  21. I think you've made a wise decision! I'm delighted when someone responds to a comment I've made, but I don't expect them. I do notice that sometimes there are a large number of comments to an entry ... the blogger would have to do nothing all day but respond. Do what is best for you and your family - then deal with others. Those who are unhappy can go their own way. Good luck to you and your husband on your crazy schedule!

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  22. I also understand what you are saying...and I agree with the rest of the ladies...your family and home come first. I also love to blog but only have time for one post a week. I many not have a lot of followers but that's o.k. never in a million years did I even expect one person to read my blog except for my kids..
    I have made some lasting friendships through blogging and love all the ladies out there. I know fully how busy our lives are and if someone doesn't leave me a note I don't mind. I think its easier to have less comments as to too many and then feel guilty that we can not get back to everyone..
    You are not along.....I enjoy reading your blog and will continue to do so..
    Have a sweet day,
    Big hugs, Elizabeth

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  23. Hi Kathy, I'm no help on this one because I haven't figured out a balance yet. I started blogging last Nov. and posted every single day. I set the bar super high for me and now I realize that I can't do that everyday. Somedays there is just nothing going on or I'm not inspired by anything. I'm going to try to post a little less, schedule some in advance and cut back on tons of piictures. I don't know why I thought I had to post everyday and include 6 photos. I certainly don't want to lose readers but I have a feeling that the ones who really love visiting will still come. Kathy, you have to do whats right for you and I'll still be visiting you no matter what! :)

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  24. I'm so there with you!! I know some people think along the lines of a comment for a comment but I think that's just a crazy expectation unless you really have nothing to do all day - which I can't even fathom!

    Family always comes first and I think you are a wise woman. Your husband has always sounded like a wonderful guy/husband/father and you two make such a great team! You guys are such an inspiration and all the struggles y'all are going through with school/life/work is going to be so worth it in the end. Just hang in there!

    XO,

    Manuela

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  25. Whatever you do is cool with me!
    I'm praying for you and sending hugs! Tell Earl to please reserve time to make some cheesecakes :)

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  26. Whatever you do is cool with me!
    I'm praying for you and sending hugs! Tell Earl to please reserve time to make some cheesecakes :)

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  27. Kathy,

    You have to take care of what's really important - that dear husband of yours. I comment when I can, but I can't always get back to every kind word - wish I could, but there's just not enough time with everything else.

    Now come and leave a comment on my blog! Just kidding! Really - I'm just kidding!

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  28. Hi Kathy
    I started my blog for a creative outlet, a way to record my days and share with others some of the beauty around me. I always looked at it as having a chat with a friend over a cup of tea. I don't expect everyone to comment and I don't comment every time I read a blog. I never let myself feel the pressure to post because of readers. I post when and if I have something to say. Sometimes my posts are just like a quick voicemail.."Just checking in to say hi. Hope everything is okay. No need to call me back."
    I hope school is going well.
    Hugs, Rhondi

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  29. Just found you just this minute. Very nice. The reason I began the blog was just to take a step out of the box and see if I could figure out how to set it up...3 attempts were made, but I got it. Then I realized how many other creative ladies there were who were on the same track as myself..To me it is a creative/friendly place for me to
    visit. It takes me out of the world of hurry, puts me in the homemade, comfy cozy place the world lacks. Thanks for being here for me to visit with.

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  30. Found link to this post of yours, on 'Living Beautifully' blog. Thank you to her and thank you, for doing this!

    Such a world of worry/stress can blogging become. When it should be just for personal Joy. -sigh-

    I admit that I continue to struggle with this issue. And get so tired of the struggle.

    But when people address this issue, it gives me strength, to finally conquer it for good, for myself.

    Gentle hugs...

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I love hearing from my friends:>)