Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I feel a rant coming on....

Yesterday, Kim at Daisy Cottage posted that she is the family photographer but hates having her picture taken and felt very uncomfortable putting a photo of herself up on her blog. Now Kim's blog is one of the first blogs that I discovered and it was one of the first to make my jaw drop with delight. She is creative, thrifty and comes across as one of the nicest people you would ever want to meet. When you see the pic you also notice she is beautiful too. I can relate to Kims discomfort with putting her picture up. I have come to realize that I am one of those people who always looks at myself with a critical eye. I avoid having my picture taken thinking that someday I will "lose the weight." I don't see any of my good points I only see my flaws and consequently, I am in very few family photos of my children's formative years. Yes, my children almost appear to have grown up motherless! Why are we so hard on ourselves in this one area? I notice a lot of bloggers whose pictures end just below the chin or don't appear at all. How many of us use something other than our own photo in our profile? We value kindness, intelligence, thriftiness, and creativity, but really, do we put vanity and beauty at the head of all those things? It is easy to hide online. We don't have to show the dirty corners of our homes or the faults we are trying to conquer. Are we afraid people wont like us if they knew what we look like? I have heard it said that life begins at 50. I am 49 but I think I know what that means. I struggle with the aging process but I am beginning to be able to accept myself as I am. Extra chins, middle age paunch, boobs that are going south for the winter and all. Why? Because I realize that when my family looks at me they don't see those things. They see a mom/wife who loves them and who they love back. I realize that when I look at others I don't see the flaws as much as I see the kindness, the creativity, the beauty that God made in us all. We are all so much harder on ourselves than anyone else is. Of course there will continue to be pictures of myself that make me cringe. I will still struggle with my weight and appearance. I want to look my best. I refuse to hide anymore though. If I take a bad picture, so be it. Maybe it will be a catalyst for change, maybe it will be what I need to help me stick to my diet. Probably not though! LOL. Maybe I will just be more accepting of myself and learn to look at what makes me unique and beautiful as a person instead of what I don't like. I hope I haven't bored you all with my rant. Some of you probably love the way you look, or don't have this hang up at all. What a blessing that would be! As for me, I am off to have my picture taken for my profile. I'll add it to this posting later today, you see, I don't have any pictures of myself on the computer right now...

P.S. I cheated and wore my "cute" glasses.:>)

27 comments:

  1. According to our family albums my children are also motherless! I'm on that side of the camera...waiting for the fat to melt or hair to do right. I'll have to remember to check back in so I can see you Kathy!

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  2. Bravo!!! It would be a wonderful world if more folks felt like you do. Most of us are not comfortable inside our own skin. To be able to state that for all to see is admirable! There is a lesson to be learned here for all of us. Well said, my dear!

    Bertie
    Aunt May's Cottage

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  3. I hate the thought of posting my own picture. Thank you for the words of wisdom!

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  4. Kathy, I am 53. I think women over 45 all look beautiful! Every laughline is earned. We have breast fed out children, we have the scars of prenancy. I wear it all with pride! Now, keep in mind, I am not the typical "beauty". I am almost bald, short, wrinkled and could stand to loose a few pounds, but I think I am beautiful! And I am sure you are too. (((hugs))))
    Proud to post my picture,
    Penny

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  5. I just found your blog and read this entry as my very first one of yours to read. How true it is! You make such good points (and I'm guilty of doing it myself too) and I hope everyone that reads your post can find the bit of 'courage' they need to face the camera with a big beautiful smile.

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  6. Kathy - You and I have so much in common. You have expressed my thoughts, too. I really struggled with putting my picture on my blog. I need to have a new picture taken to update mine. Thanks for sharing yours - I like it. The glasses are great but they don't hide your true beauty! Thanks for sharing this with us. ~Adrienne~

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  7. Your beautiful Kathy! Both inside and out :)

    I have a few pictures of me on my blog. I am a redhead too!

    Hugs,
    Amy

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  8. I join the many...I don't like pics of me either and for the same reasons.
    You look beautiful and charming...no need to hide...I love red hair!! And I love your name, Kathleen Grace.
    I don't have a blog but if I did you would have been an encouragement to me today to have my pic posted!!
    From here on in I hope to see many pics of you...cute glasses by the way! Funny, I do that too sometimes...wear my 'cute glasses' for pics!!

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  9. Kathy~ I followed you from Kim's place after the comment your left. I think you are beautiful! I mean come on! LOOK at your daughters, they don't get to be that beautiful without help from their parents. ;)

    I remember back to the time when I was in shape; a fitness model but I still didn't like what I saw and I was so caught up in that, I didn't have time to cultivate the artistic side and I was so unhappy. So I think you are so right we all need to be more accepting of ourselves. We would never talk to a stranger the way we talk to ourselves much of the time.

    BRAVO for you and this A-HA moment!

    *muahs*

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  10. Elizabeth HolcombeAugust 8, 2007 at 3:12 PM

    Amen, Sister! You are a cutie pie! Love your rant! I'm 47 and will never by 26 again! I am more confident, productive, and have much more out of life than I ever had! LOVE your rant! XXOO, Beth

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  11. Oh Kathleen, this wasn't a rant that you shared but a beautifully expressed, important message for all of us! Well done! AND, YOU are BEAUTIFUL! Wonderful picture and you should always, always be proud of yourself. (((hugs))) Way to go!
    xo,
    Kim

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  12. You are adorable Kathy!!! Love the glasses!
    Hugs,
    Penny

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  13. How could you be anything but cute in those glasses?!!
    Good for you..... I have all those same hangups! Not a lot of pics of me.
    :)

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  14. Hi Kathy -- isn't it sad that we all feel this way about our looks? I just turned 50 this year, and now I wish I appreciated myself more when I was in my twenties! You look beautiful, especially with your "cute" glasses. More important, though, is that you are a beautiful soul -- sweet and giving and creative! Thanks for sharing! :)

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  15. I think you are adorable. I love cute glasses, too! This is my first time to your site and I am thrilled to "meet" you!

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  16. Kathy...
    I just came upon your blog via Kim's at Daisy Cottage...well...girl...you have hit a mighty "big" nail...right on the ole' head...yes! you have! There are so many of us out there with the same thoughts you expressed on your site...and I AM one of them...WHY of why can't we love ourselves as we are...the way God so meticously made each and every one of us...I know when I am unaccepting of what I "see" as my faults or misgivings...that I am kind of slighting my Creator. I have to constanly remind myself that I am alright...no matter what...because God doesn't make mistakes...so thank you, thank you for your very poignant post...and I LOVE your picture...you're a doll...and I have a feeling you're a great gal...you also look like you could be a "tad" mischeivious...and I like that in a friend!!!...

    Oh...by the way I read the 2 posts about your daughters...and to the first one...about giving advice and trying to let them live their lives...that's the hard one...I have a daughter who is 27...I still think sometimes she is asking for my advice and all the while she just wants me to listen...so I've been REALLY trying hard over the last few years to zip my lip and open my heart just a tad more! That's hard for me...but it is working!

    And for the second post of your daughter turning 17...well...you know from experiencing the first daughter moving on...this year will have many great moments...so enjoy each one of them...as I kind of know in my heart...you already do!!

    Blessings your way...
    "T"
    LivngTheLife
    aka
    http://www.tpmom4ever.blogspot.com

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  17. wow, mom! what a response! i love the photo- it's super cute! i believe this may mean that more pictures are in order? ;) love ya!

    lauren

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  18. Kathy, of course you are beautiful. This is not a rant!! As stated above it is an intelligent and persuasive argument for self-care. After years of therapy, I still have not arrived at this self-acceptance. You are a total joy!! I have heard that it takes 1,000 positive thoughts to change a negative one. We could look at parenting, not to lay blame, they did the best they could, but as for myself the result was not a positive self image, or a confidence that I was a valuable person. I keep a pix of me as a child on my end table to say, "Even if no one loved this child, I can love her today."
    This blog adds a lot to my life. Thanks for doing it. Your pix are amazing and your artistry comes through in everything you do! LAS

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  19. I think you hit a chord with a lot of us! So well said! Thanks for a very thoughtful post- and your picture is great and it's not just because you have cute glasses!

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  20. Kathy, thank you for your honest post. I'm one of those who is still hiding (mostly) on blog. I have quit worrying about being in family photos though. I treasure my parents pictures so much since they are not living. I don't want my boys to wish there were more pictures of me. I think your picture is just adorable.

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  21. There you are! I'd know you anywhere :) Very nice photo K!

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  22. Hip Hip Hooray to you Kathy!! I think you expressed what 99% of us think of ourselves. I am one of those girls that you described. It drives my family insane that i am so judgemental of myself to the point where some days i just wont leave the house because i think i look so dreadful.Why do we do this to ourselves?
    I love the way you worded everything, just brilliant.

    And you know what YOU are so cute and yep those glasses are way cute too !

    Good on you Kathy!

    Hugs,
    Shann xo

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  23. Ooooops .... I'm guilty. I gave into temptation to omit my face from my picture (although I was trying to be creative, too). I will get to work and post a real picture of myself this week. I love, love, love your picture. You are adorable!

    I do believe that our daughters learn self-esteem starting with us, and they pick up on even the slightest negativity (my face cut off in my picture, when I talk about a "diet", I don't look good today, etc.). I don't want that for her, so I shouldn't do it to myself. And as far as my friends go, they are all more beautiful than any model and I love them just the way they are. No need to hide anything!

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  24. Alright, I took this post to heart. Stop by and take a look. ;-)

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  25. Kathleen, you are beautiful inside and out! And I love the way cute glasses too!
    Hugs,
    Barbara

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  26. I love your rant! Bravo! Lisa

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  27. Well, you're just so stinkin' cute. *giggles*... keep the self-portraits coming darlin. Just found you today and going to check out your aprons! woot woot.

    DI
    Snappy

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