Sunday, February 15, 2009

Can we talk?

So this week, I'm on my way to job #2 andf I stop and pick up my very first "Middle age Magazine". You know, the ones that are aimed at women 40 and older. Sheesh, who ever thought I'd do that? Anyway, What caught my eye was the headline "Reinvent yourself after 40". I have been intrigued with the idea of reinventing myself for the past two years. You know you reach a certain age and you figure you are who you are. But I can feel my life changing and evolving more now than in my 20's and 30's, and yes, even my 40's. I am soon going to be an empty nester. Two girls in college signals the end of their childhood like some kind of school bell ringing.
They have been my life, my career, my focus, but now I see them building lives of their own, inventing their own lives as they grow up and they don't need me as much as they used to. It is a new chapter for all of us. In a way I began reinventing myself when I began blogging. This was a new experience, and one that has changed me in so many ways. It was the kick start I needed to begin nurturing my creative side. It started me thinking in different ways about who I am and where I am going in life. Now I am thinking I need to continue that reinvention. I need to focus on what is next for me. I am still not sure where it will all lead me. If there was ever a time for reinvention for many of us it is now. Things all around us are changing, many people out of work may need to re-evaluate what they really want to do. It can be an opportunity for change. So let me ask you, I know we are a diverse group of women, different ages, different stages of life. My question is this, do you ever think about what you want to do next? Do you think about reinventing yourself? If you could change what or who you are, if nothing held you back, what would you do? What would you be? What is holding you back?


  1. GREAT post Kathy!! We are always a "work in progress" no matter what age, stage of life. You are looking forward and seeing the landscape is changing so you are prepared to change your own philosophy of "who" you are in the world to meet that. Brava...that's a huge step as so many people resist it.

    I'm not "afraid" of anything anymore, for various life experience reasons and I love to change and reinvent and adapt myself to circumstances as they come up. I didn't always feel this way but when life tosses you a hand either let it "explode" in your hand or you toss it away and run towards something better...while you've got the time...time doesn't last forever!! xoxoxo

  2. I think it's wonderful that you recognize the changes many women hold on to their children for that feeling of being wanted or needed. It's wise to look ahead and wonder what's in store for ourselves! Blogging has certainly changed my life, fueled my creativity, and given me many friendships. I'm constantly wondering whats down the hill for me....and I do have wishes, or dreams....the main thing stopping me now is doubt.
    Great Post!

  3. Kathy:
    What a thoughtful post. I think I am always looking for ways to change myself but I am also content with where I am. I moved into my present home about 22 years ago and amid tons of paint and rolls of wallpaper I feathered my nest. Now I find I want a different look, less cluttered, more grown up and maybe with a little more whimsy. I guess that is part of that reinventing. I take care of great grandbabies and I yearn for a few days of empty nest syndrome.

    With Smiles...
    Roberta Anne

  4. Kathy, I think about this often. One son in college and one who is very active outside of our home and hubby who travels all the time...I think I'm the person Miss Priss referred to. I always still worry about making our home and family life as wonderful as possible and let that hold me back. I find myself clueless at this point in life honestly!!

  5. Heavy question! I'll have to think on it!

  6. I "reinvented" myself at 50.......I went back to 39, chick. Not one of my kids or grandkids cared a whit! They're sooooooo supportive of my "aging process"! Hah,
    Smooches girlfriend

  7. I think I am in that stage now. I am going back to college, to get a doctorate, even though I only have 5-7 years left in my career. I am planning on after, though, what I want to do later.

    I never found my clothing style, I think I would like to work on that as well.

  8. Kathy,
    I totally agree with you that blogging was the fist step. I suppose when I entered this empty nest thingy, I felt like I was drifting without a rudder. I just turned sixty and I have decided to have more direction this year.

    I took a long hard look at what I had to offer when I decided to go back to work. After floating in space this last year and trying to re-enter the workforce from where I left off when I left corporate America, I realized that I have become a different person.

    I will be volunteering at the Art Museum with the hopes of learning about a job from the inside. I finally realized that my whole world revolves around art and that is what I have been doing over the last twenty years, as I raised my girls.

    I know that times are difficult, but I am determined to find something. Blogging has truly made a difference in my self-discovery.

    Your post is perfect, because I know that there are so many women who instead of waiting until empty nest hits like a closed door, are working on who they might be this next chapter.


  9. Oh I love this post! I am 55. Seven years ago, I did reinvent myself. I had worked in the advertising industry for 25 years. I raised 4 boys. My husband and I decided to leave Florida, move to the moutains and start living the "simple life" that we wanted. My husband Kent is still working in his same field, because he loves it.

    I left the advertising industry and started working for myself in the field I have loved all of my Fast forward 7 is it working out? My husband is still enjoying his work. I love what I am doing, but am ready to stretch and change a little. I am taking this year to figure it all out.

    I think we have stages of our lives. And you have reached another. I can't wait to see how fabulous your next phase will be!

  10. Hi Kathy..

    your blog make me thinking about what I am going to do when I reach 40 in 3 years time.. my kids are still small and I am still a working mom but deep down I want to start a small home business either baking or selling home decor stuff.. but I don't have the guts of doing it.. reason being I am afraid that I don't have time for my kids when they need me.. or maybe I am so comfy at my spot now.. that I am sacred to change or re-invent myself.. but now its about time I sit and plan.. thanks for reminding me.. take care & have a great week!


  11. I am a twenty something about to give birth to my fifth child in 8 years! And yet I am always thinking about how I want to reinvent myself. It seems I am forced to with each child. If I could change anything and just go for it. I would get out of this house and become self suffiecient on a big piece of land in the middle of no where, somewhere that there is no one who "knows" me and thinks they know who I truely am. Thanks so much for this post!

  12. I have thought about re-inventing myself too. Like going back to school, losing weight, wearing make-up, things like that. But so far, I have just been dreaming.

  13. Kathy - fabulous topic. I have been thinking long and hard about this myself. After a personal, hurtful event last year I realised it was time for 'me'. My kids have all left home, I have 3 grandbabies. One I look after 2 days a week, the other 2 I babysit or see a couple of times a week. We are a close family, family dinners at least once a week, you never know which one of my kids is coming through the door next on any given day. we are all very close.
    Then after something happened last year I knew I needed to do something for 'me' but it has taken until the last few months for me to even start, 1st it is weight loss and general fitness. I have lost 13kg(28.5 pounds)and am fitter than I have been in years. Next I want to find some time to be more creative and maybe sell some of it.
    I think we all need to try and follow our dreams.

  14. I can't believe what has happened to me since blogging...I have always wanted to craft what I want...when I wanted to...I am able to do that now..So I'm in a good place...just wish I could slow down the aging process a Laurie

  15. Hi Kathy -
    This is a great post! Thanks for bringing this up and sharing with us. Three and a half years ago I reinvented myself drastically. We took a major 'leap of faith' and I left a lucrative position in the business world to become a chaplain in health care settings, particularly care centers. I love, love, love what I'm doing. Our income dropped drastically and God has blessed us through these years. I only wish I could have done it sooner. Am I still in the process of reinventing me? Yes, indeedy! I am working on a program for healthy choices for weight management and I desperately want to get my home decluttered, simplified and made much easier to handle. There are so many things that need to be considered. This would be a great thought to pursue again soon so we can all share any progress we are making. Share and encourage each other!

  16. Dear Kathy,
    I love your post....I am in the process of doing some reinventing myself. I think change is good and we all need to do it. I think we need to learn something new all the time and I think we need to grow. Grandma Moses became extremely successful when she was in her 70's so age has no barriers only those we invent. I have also been thinking a lot about the economy and the state we are in.
    I feel if we would all help one another ...I mean really go out of our way to do help people in business, people we see on the street ...or in the shops.
    We could certainly turn our economy around. If you have talent and your friend does too... Team up and you help her and she helps you. I love this idea. It is dynamite. I love what you had to say. Please stop over to my blog. I would love to hear from you.
    With all good wishes.

  17. I began re-inventing myself in 2002 when I got "set free" (laid off) from my job due to the dotcom implosion.

    Fortunately, that day Spirit introduced me to my passion and told me to write about my journey. The downside now? Oh yea, this economy.

    But heck, 50 and fabulous women never let little things stand in our way! "This too shall pass."

    Read about my amazing Spirit-led, re-invention story...Sign up for a FREE (no strings/spam) download at: Yes, it is FREE!

    Simply my way of giving back!

    take care
    Louise Lewis, author
    No Experts Needed: The Meaning of Life According to You!

    FREE download:

  18. Believe it or not, I subscribe to that magazine. I love it and the whole idea of reinvention which I do almost annually.

  19. I have a love hate relationship with that magazine! I think it spends an awful amount of space on age defying creams and how to look younger type articles instead of focusing on embracing who you are at whatever age you are.

    Oh yes, I've been giving it quite a lot of thought lately! I am going to be an empty nester soon too. DD is 17 next week and will graduate a semester early _ next fall will be her last. So I've really been thinking about what I want to do when she flies the coop!


  20. Oh yes.. I just love your words on this. I have spent 25 years of my life devoted to my husband and raising my children. And even though I am creative, I have the same feelings of reinventing myself. I have started writing a I have put off for many reasons...fear of trying to be something besides homemaker/mother mainly. So, I am jumping out to be brave in trying to get it published. I so loved reading your post today. Blessings,Kathleen

  21. I'm headed towards 60 next year and I'm fine with's the new 40!! I'm always concerned with my health as I have had a major injury that has caused havoc on other health issues...but I go day by day and try to keep busy...I have found a new love called blogging and it's keeping my mind nice and sharp...I love all the interesting women I have met...

  22. Great post Kathy ...I'm going to have to do some serious thinking on this one! Right now there is definetly too much going on in my life! I want to slow down ...I want to reorganize ...I want to have a fresh start!

    Currently, I'm babysitting my two grandkids, five days a week from
    8am to 5:30pm. Now don't get me wrong ...I love my grandkids, it's just that taking care of children in my retirement years is not what I had pictured for myself. And besides ...I'm too old to be doing this! By Monday night I'm so tired and there's still the rest of the week! I totally need some alone time to nuture my creative side!

  23. Hi Kathy! I'm sorry if this is a duplicate comment; using hubby's laptop!lol I can relate to this post very much as I'm starting a job tomorrow after 20yrs of being stay at home mom! My daughter just moved out and trust me They Never Stop needing you really!lol I'd like to do something more creative and be paid for it so that's plan D For now having a paying job is Plan C!lol Isn't it great we have the total freedom now to reinvent ourselves into almost anything we want to be!!! BestWishes with your Journey; I'm right behind you!!! Sincerely, Jeannette

  24. Wonderful subject Kathy!
    I have been thinking about this a lot lately!
    Who am I and what am I doing with my life?

    Hubby and I took a huge leap moving from the BIG city out into the middle of nowhere! Away from our families and lifetime friends!

    We went from keeping up with the Jones to living the simple life!
    We grow our own veggies and can whatever we can get our hands on, we want to raise our own animals and be self sufficient within a few years!

    All of our children are grown and we have 6 grandchildren!
    I have always been a stay at home mom...dedicated to my children and hubby!

    I want to explore my creative side more this year.... Put my heart into building my Etsy and Lollishop Boutiques!

    My dream would be to adopt or foster children!
    I have so much love to give and am at my happiest when I am sitting on the floor surrounded by kids. Even at my age!

    Thanks for asking Kathy.... I think no matter what our ages...we are want to reinvent ourselves.


  25. I never want to reinvent but just always improve.

  26. I would give anything to go to culinary school!!! With 2 young kids and nothing in the way of a budget don't see it happening anytime soon!

    I tagged you! Check it out!

  27. It is ironic that you are mentioning this topic. It has been the center of my prayers over the past month. My reasons are a bit different. I went from homeschooling (10 years) to not. I feel very fortunate to be at this place in my life of change, but I did not feel that way at first. I felt flustered and a bit challenged because I really did not know what to do. I know that I will not be working outside of the home full time, rather I am stationed here for my family. :o) Blogging has been a giant blessing for me too. It has stretched me to try things I would have otherwise not tried. I am so thankful for the encouraging words to take steps and affirmations when I make mistakes-from my new friends-through blogging. :o)
    Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne

  28. Oh yes, Kathy, I am already feeling like I need a change, and my daughter is a junior in high school. I have been toying with the idea of learning how to do portrait photography -- infants, children, families... I don't know if I am cut out to run my own business, though. So I guess fear of failure holds me back.

  29. Kathy, your age is a wonderful time for reinventing. Follow the passion you currently feel. For me, I feel like I have done that over the past few years and it started with my blog, getting back to crafting, and never dreaming I would begin selling. I like where my life is right now. I turn 60 this summer and I think I will reinvent again later in life.

    What a wonderful Valentine you have, and a delightful V Day because of him!

  30. Kathy, Great post and I am so happy you had your site to write your thoughts and feelings. Right now I find myself as the future bread winner "to be". My husband will be going on disablity much sooner due to M.S. I, am still not done with my degree so I have so many questions and wonders, "Where will I be 10 years from now?" I need 28 more credits for my bachelors and then two more years to get my master, I wonder, will I make it through all and woring too? Most of my years in school have been part-time work or school alone. Time will tel, yes I'm excited, but nervous too! Lori

  31. wonderful post!
    i am constantly reinventing myself i think as i have this artistic little bit wild side which keeps appearing but then gets pushed back down as i 'reinvent' myself yet again as home maker, career girl etc. one of these days i will decide exactly 'what' i am supposed to be and go with it lol but for now i get pulled in so many directions i have to be a bit of everything!
    ps im in my 20s and have 3 small children

  32. I am late for jumping in here but am glad to see what good company we have with the whole reinventing thing. I am going to be 52 this year and I am reinventing all the time, reinventing one aspect or another of my life. I am gloriously happy just trying to find my own little niche ..... or maybe that is my niche being "fickle'"! Perhaps I'll just go with that! HA!

    With a smile on my face and a giggle in my heart,

  33. HI Kathy,

    I think about reinventing myself everyday :)lol.. Probably not to some huge extreme, but every so often I give myself a "re-check" and ask of this is where I want to be. I often say "yes" so then I know I'm doing something right :) but for the times I can't answer yes I study what to do next. The only time I "can't" do something I want, is probably because of a financial reason, so I just try and hurdle them. If absolutely nothing was holding me back, I would definitely have a second home. A place just for me :) with a studio over looking the water out back and mountains out front. I might even be single, I never really did that too long, it sounds intriguing :) My kids are getting older too, so soon I will be an empty nester, while I love the quiet, I think I will just go nuts when the last one leaves in 4 years. Or i'll take her with me to my little cottage on the water, LOL :)

    Hugs, Cynthia

  34. I'm just finding your blog now and it sounds like you have lots of "stuff" going on so I don't know if you'll even see this comment, but just wanted to say this was an excellent post. I am in the process of reinventing myself also. I think that's what happens to us when we reach a certain age. I do like myself better the older I get. I will visit you again to read back on your posts. You sound like an interesting person that I would like to get to know better.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  35. My daughters are your age..and I have seen them reinvent themselves several times over the years. The one that really is interesting is the one that continued to constantly get an education. She now has her Masters, is a councelor, and still going for her Doctorate. She started out working in a cookie place in the Mall.
    She is 47 now. Education is the key. I guess that is what I would say. You are right ..we are such a diverse group and this is something I am now only in a place to observe. I possibly should not even be commenting on this. :)
    The older daughter, now fifty, started out her first real job in insurance, then as a receptionist for a doctor..and now manages the practice's of five doctors in Atlanta. ON the job training for this still she had to reinvent herself a couple of times.
    She even cleaned homes once, started her own little company which she threw up her hands on and went back to the drawing board.
    Interesting subject. :)
    Me...I kick back with a can of spray paint, or a good book and some cookies and a cup of coffee now! Thank God it is over! :)
    Hugs to you..

  36. Great post! I changed professions about 9 years ago and it was very scary for me. I wasn't sure the decrease in pay would be doable, but God provided. I am very happy with my decisions most days. I am still changing and growing and am doing things like blogging that I never would have done without knowing you. Change is not easy but does keep you challenged and that is a good thing. Youth is wasted on the young I know that is the truth. As I've gotten older I feel less concerned about others opinions of me and more of what I think of me. I am still a "work in progress". Thanks for speaking out on this topic. Hugs, Jan

  37. Do I ever think about what I want to do next? Absolutely! (I'd run a spiritual retreat center where people could go, unwind, and escape from the crazy chaotic fast-paced world of ours!)Do I think about reinventing myself? I'm constantly growing, evolving and becoming all that God has planned me to I imagine that as long as I'm open to being Moldable, in the Potters hands, I'll be changing...until He's finished with me. If I could change what or who I am,if nothing held me back, what would I do? Finally walk away from my 30 year (life-long) career with law enforcement. What would I do? - Open and run "Serenity Pond" Spiritual Retreat Center. What would I be? Happier, more relaxed, more creative, experiencing and celebrating a slower paced that allows time to enjoy the moment! What is holding you back? - Son still in High School, Son in College, some financial obligations and other economic hurdles. Kathy, thanks for asking the questions...because they help keep the "dreams" alive in all of us! I LOVE YOUR BLOG! You are an incredible woman of character, insight, wisdom, grace, and faith! Thanks for sharing you life with us!
    e? What is holding you back?


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